I walk our dirt road every day (for half an hour --and not a second more) up one side of the street and then back down the other. For my, you know, health.
And to tidy up.
Because there are people who drive by and pitch trash through their car windows like deranged flower girls.
It's very rude.
So I've taken to picking up after them, climbing into the brush to get the stuff. This has earned me pitying looks and the worst case of poison ivy ever (PSA -- poison ivy juice can live on surfaces --like the inside of your open-toed Tevas -- FOR YEARS). One time, I kid you not, somebody drove a little ways beyond where I was cleaning and threw a fast food cup from the driver's side. It bounced though, and stopped conveniently in front of me.
My daily constitutional has given me lots of time to ponder weighty questions like:
Q. Do I care that I look like the chimney sweep in Mary Poppins when I'm just trying to get some exercise?
A. No.
Yes.
Q. Is it illegal to put garbage in other peoples' cans?
A. I'm not sure -- but I never lift a receptacle lid if its owner is outside watering begonias.
Q. What does it mean that the neighbor i discounted as being Trumpian (because of his 'Don't Tread on Me' license plate and his generally deplorable demeanor) filled up a Scouting for Food bag and hung it on his mailbox for post office delivery to the food bank?
A. I don't know but it upended my world view for a whole day.
Q. Which would I rather have as a neighbor -- a bear, a rat or a clown?
A.
